The First Blog/God has saved me

Hi my name is Katie. This is my first blog so here is a little bit about me.




I am 26 years old. I have a wonderful husband named Mark and a step son Greyson. For most 26 year old woman out there I think my life is pretty darn good.




I grew up in a very big family. I have tons of Cousins, Aunts and Uncles. My Grandma Froh had 12 children. Can you believe it! Well since I was two I always said I wanted to have 12 children like Grandma Froh. Well thing have changed since I was 2 but I would still like to have at least 5. I love the idea of a large strong family bond. I have always loved the idea of adoption and I promised my self when I was young that one day I would adopt a child. But I never thought that that would be my only choice. I was always the babysitter. I love kids. I think I get along with kids better that I do most adults.




I new something was wrong with me when i was 15. Most girls get there periods before the age of 14 and most of them have there periods every month. I on the other had only got my period every couple of months and only had them for maybe a day. I told doctors that something was wrong but they told me that it was normal for some girls. When I was 18 is when I had my first serious boyfriend. That is when I really noticed something was wrong. We were not really careful and we should have gotten pregnant. Then my periods started to stop all together I would go months with out having one. I was 19 years old and having crazy hot flashes and mood swings. I had a rocky relationship at the time so doctors just kept telling me it was stress. But I new something was wrong. Well I broke up with that guy and took up partying quite a bit. I forgot all about the baby idea and just lived my life.




Then when I was 23 I got my self a career. I stopped babysitting and working at a bar. I realized it was time to grow up. I was only at this new job for a month when I met my now Amazing husband. He was everything I could have ever hoped for in a man. I still remember the first time I met him and the way he looked at me. Well we started dating and got very serious. That is when the whole children thing came up again. Now I did not want a child till we were married but I started to get worried again about if I even could have a child. At the age of 24 I was only having my period once or twice a year. I decided to really look into what was going on. I made the doctor do tests. She told me it was once again just stress because of the wedding. I said no this is something else. I had to beg her to check everything. Well she did and she came back with the most shattering news I could have ever heard. She told me I was almost all the way through menopause. She told me it would be very hard for me to get pregnant with out help.




THROUGH MENOPAUSE I was only 24! Who goes through menopause at the age of 24! That is just Crazy! Then it started to hit me. I love kids I want one so bad. I have spent all this time watching other peoples children and now you are telling me I can't have my own. I was so mad. I wondered how could God do this to me. Why did he choose to put me through this. All of my friends had babies that they did not plan on. I who wanted one was just told I could not have one. I was so mad at God. I was mad at all my friends and there babies. I couldn't even look at any of there kids with out being selfish and angry.




I found this information out about 2 months before our wedding. I had to go tell the man of my dreams that he can now not have any more biological children. I was hurting so bad inside and now had to hurt the man that I loved. I felt like I was no longer a woman. I struggled so badly inside.




ANGRY WITH GOD! I was so mad that I started to move further and further away from God. I started to question everything I had ever believed. I started to believe he was not real. I was angry with God for 2 years. I struggled inside by my self for two years. My husband knew I was struggling but there was nothing he could do to help.




In September of 09 during work I started to talk to another lady that I worked with. We were always so busy that there was never really anytime we would get to talk. She started to tell be about how she was saved. In my mind I was thinking this woman is crazy. God isn't real he doesn't save anyone. What a load of crap. Well she talked for two hours and I sat there and listened. No one even walked into the restaurant. At the end of the conversation I still was thinking OK this woman is crazy. She had suggested that I forgive. Forgive anyone who I have been holding a grudge against. So after work I got in my car and decide to try this. It started out just forgiving people for stupid things. Then I started to cry and beg for forgiveness for myself and all of the stupid things I had done or said. I was crying so hard I almost had to stop the car. Then this amazing feeling had washed over me. It was so weird I still can't even explain it. Then I was so happy I had never felt so happy. Immediately I new what had happen God was really he really did just save me.




This was all about six months ago. Since I have been saved we have been going to church. It was a struggle at first to get my husband on the same page as me. I had changed over night. I was now a completely different person. I came out of my funk. I got my self a career. Even my husband got a new job. Things have really been looking up for us. I see the end of the tunnel now. It still seams forever a way but I know now there will be a happy ending.




Now I see that God makes people like me. If there were not people out there who could not have children there would be a lot more children with out families. Now I look at this whole baby thing like God choose me because I was special. He new with a heart like mine some babies out there would be saved.









Thank you for reading. I hope this heps people find God. I also hope that people will realize that a woman can go through early menopause and if they even think something is wrong that they should not stop until they find an answer.